The Pain of Underachievement

A very strange thing happened on Sunday before the eve of the clash with West Brom. I remembered the kickoff time wrongly and planted myself in front of the TV at 11 pm eagerly anticipating the match to come on ESPN but all I saw was play acting on WWE. Later I asked my better half and she said that since Singapore is 8 hours behind GMT, the kickoff time should be 12 midnight. I was aghast at my folly and waited patiently for the clock to hit 12.
The Toon go into the match with renewed confidence after demolishing the Unwashed at St. James’ last week and overcoming the Mariners in the League Cup midweek. Souness was looking to make it a good week for the Toon by securing victory at the Hawthorns, a ground the Toon had not won since 1989. One thing’s for sure, Souness may not be my fave but he has a knack for getting wins at stadia the Toon had never won or not won in a damn long time. He undid our Southampton curse last season, see, I have a good memory.
Bryan Robson too is a manager under intense pressure. After the escape act last season, the Baggies find themselves in familiar territory again in the cellar of the Premiership. So we have two former international captains squaring off in a match which neither side can ill afford to lose.
The Toon started brightly enough and within two minutes had fired a shot on goal. The first half saw Newcastle dominate possession but they were unable to break down a quite resolute Baggies defence. Often times however, it was the final ball that lacked quality. Shola Ameobi was guilty of not using his body to challenge for the ball in the fashion of Shearer and his hold up play was not too pleasing on the eye to say the least. Having said that Parker and Emre were pulling strings in the midfield and N’Zogbia and Solano were trying their best to play and spray crosses from the flanks. Our defence managed to cope with whatever pathetic efforts West Brom threw at us but the stats were clear, the Toon were rampant but not exactly threatening. Boumsong, who received the backing of Souness before the match and was given the captain’s armband in place of Shearer who was on the bench did look nervous at times. His defensive colleague, the young Taylor looked more assured that he was. Owen’s pace was also causing some problems but I think Robson was the happier of the two managers at half time.
By the end of the half, it was already close to 1 am and my wife was telling me to go and sleep. I tried to reason it out and managed to get 15 minutes extra into the second half. And boy was I glad to have asked for that concession. Within 20 seconds of the restart, a clever cross from N’Zogbia found Owen in the box and he hooked a shot hit into the net past the Baggies keeper. His technique was so exquisite that my wife could not help gushing at Owen’s masterclass in finishing.
My initial euphoria slowly evaporated in the 5 minutes that followed. As all long suffering Toon followers will know, the Toon never make things easy for themselves and their supporters. Having a 1 goal lead is never quite enough because we just cannot defend to save our lives. The goal did not instill confidence in the players but instead sent vibes of nerves in the defence and Boumsong was culpable of his trademark banana slips. The West Brom players were also stung into action and in a spell which lasted 10 minutes, they threatened to even equalise and take the lead.
Luckily for us we have Shay Given who made a point blank save to deny Inamoto and Earnshaw. I wonder how often he has been called upon to get us out of jail. He truly is a magnificent shot stopper. We will surely die a terrible death in many grounds if not for Shay.
Tactical changes were made by Souness as time passed. Shearer replaced Ameobi, Dyer replaced N’Zogbia and Bramble replaced Boumsong. These substitutions brought us our next goals. Dyer who finally looked fresh and quite interested in making a living from football eluded his marker and send a throughball to Owen who was unmarked on the far post to double our lead on 78 minutes. Cue celebrations and hugs. Two minutes later it was to get even better when Peter Ramage, another young defender making the most of his chances sent in a cross which was turned in by Shearer who got in front of Darren Moore. West Brom by then were totally deflated. They had thrown all they could but have still failed to get something for their efforts. Up went the arm to salute goal 197 for the Toon.
Ultimately the Toon soaked up the pressure, kept possession and made a nuisance of themselves. And I basically punched the air when the ref blew the final whistle. The win was most welcome, lifting us to 10 th place. A clean sheet, 3 good goals… what more can I ask for?

Ratings

Given 8 Another solid display. Good acrobatics.
Ramage 7 Showed good movement and desire.
Boumsong 7 Dodgy at times but had one of his better games.
Bramble 6 Showed some good touches.
Taylor 8 Rock solid in defence.
Babayaro 7 Finally showning what he can do.
Solano 7 Peru’s fave son is back in business.
Parker 8 Dominant in midfield.
Emre 9 He is a revelation.
N’Zogbia 8 Again his performance is excellent for a lad his age.
Dyer 7 Finally a glimpse into his genius.
Owen 10 What can I say? 2 world class strikes.
Ameobi 6 Tried but not very effective.
Shearer 7 Can he be a super-sub?

Subs n/u: Harper, Faye.

Another long week of waiting…. and the next round of battle commences!

Birmingham v Everton 1-0 I think Steve Bruce will win the battle of the pathetic managers
Charlton v Bolton 1-1 Stalemate, I think
Chelsea v Blackburn 2 - 0 Chelsea will have too much class for Rovers
Liverpool v West Ham 2 - 1 Lyndon, I think Pool can still do this lot in
Sunderland v Portsmouth 2-1 Unwashed will win against the Gallic whiners
Middlesbrough v Man Utd 1-3 Shrek and Horseface will do the damage
West Brom v Newcastle 1-3 I will still go with a Toon win
Man City v Aston Villa 2-1 Pearce will pierce O’Leary
Wigan v Fulham 2-1 Latics will continue to defy the critics
Tottenham v Arsenal 2-1 I think Jol will erase years of hurt

The third tier competition in English football threw up a few shocks. The one that totally overturned the form book was Liverpool’s abject performance at Selhurst Park. Last season, Pool did not get anything from games against Crystal Palace, fast forward a few months and the result was the same. Surely Palace would provide the perfect tonic for a Pool team struggling to create, score and defend. But obviously the opposition did not adhere to the script and Pool were left with egg on their faces. If they continue to perform like this, Rafa is going to go bald soon and frankly why start with three youngsters in the side if they are to make stupid mistakes and chief culprit of course was Kewell who does not justify his tag as a senior player. He must be one of the worst buys ever and has not been able to reproduce the form he had at Leeds.
Arsenal sent out a reserve team and squashed the unwashed. Manure did the business against a Barnet side hell bent on self destruction as the keeper was sent off after 2 mins. Boro drove another nail into Moyes’ coffin while a Mexican from Bolton hammered the Hammers.
Good old Al rescued the Toon from a potential banana skin by scoring the only goal in the tie against Grimsby. This was as he said the perfect revenge for being hit on the face by an elbow. Amazingly the ref waved play on. Never mind, cheaters get their just desserts. And that was the perfect response.
Finally Chelsea got beaten by Charlton, albeit on penalties but the veil of invincibility has been lifted… ha! There goes the first of the quadruple. Three more to go. Let’s hope for the best then. Well done Addicks, you gave us hope that Roman’s evil ambitions may not yet be realised.

It’s been a good weekend finally. But before I go into details, let’s recap the battles of the weekend.

Blackburn 2 Birmingham 0 Bellamy the big gab finally opened his Premiership account for Rovers. (1 pt)

Fulham 0 Liverpool 2 European champs but EPL duds (o pt)

Arsenal 1 Man City 0 Pires makes a fool out of himself (0 pt)

Manure 1 Tottenham 1 Jenas gives me the scoreline I craved (3 pt)

Portsmouth 1 Charlton 2 The Addicks continue their good away form (1 pt)

Villa 0 Wigan 2 When will the Latics finally lose (0 pt)

Toon 3 Sunderland 2 (1 pt)

Bolton 2 West Brom 0 Japanese sushi inspired show (3 pts)

West Ham 2 Boro 1 Sheri defies his age (1 pt)

Everton 1 Chelsea 1 Who would have predicted this? (0 pt)

10 points out of 30…. not bad I would say

Now to my usual rant about the Toon’s performance. After last week’s shit performance at the JJB where the Toon huffed and puffed and flattered to deceive, the news that Owen tweaked something was not the best piece of news to greet the long suffering supporters before such an important derby. Souness must really be cursing his damned luck… he’s not been able to send out his best team yet or so he claims. It was therefore with some trepidation rather than expectation that I was looking forward to this match.

Let’s focus on the pluses, first we now have a more balanced look with N’Zogbia and Solano patrolling the flanks. It’s really great to see the Peruvian back in the black and white stripes again. He’s really one of the best crossers of the ball I’ve ever seen and hits a good free kick too and he’s got a better temperament than the French toast who must been crying out loud at the South Coast. Taylor is looking every bit a future international, definitely tonnes better than Boumsong. I think the French national team must be really lacking in centre backs that they have to rely on this jittery fella who gets unstuck every time a striker comes near him and slips so often as if banana skins were left on the pitch. For crying out loud, live up to your name as an international or else ship out. Don’t disgrace the national team.
And of course who can leave out our Turkish sorcerer and tormentor. Emre’s purposeful running and dead ball skills were a delight to behold, and to score the winner in a derby of immense significance to both sets of supporters is the best way to announce your arrival on the Premiership stage. And Tyneside has another favourite hero to add to their list. Emre has definitely written himself into the folklore of the Toon army. He also must have felt the full impact of Souness’ over-zealous bear hug. I am surprised by that kind of bond and ‘affection’ they shared.
Also credit goes to Parker who week in week out has been one of our most consistent performers. He could cover every area of the pitch in a match. His range of passing and his no nonsense hard tackling brings steel to our midfield. His transfer fee is definitely justified.
And of course Ameobi who deputised so brilliantly for Owen in his absence. I am not his fan but I will give him the props man. His headers were so well taken that Shearer would have been proud. If he can maintain this kind of performance, I cannot understand why he cannot assume Shearer’s mantle. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.
Sunderland did play their part in an extremely pulsating match and twice they came from behind with brilliantly taken goals. I can sympathise with the Unwashed, coming to St. James’ Park, scoring twice and getting naught is hard to take. But I would still savour this hard fought victory but I too was biting my fingernails and my heart almost stopped when Elliot’s lob hit the crossbar with less than 10 minutes left. That’s the way the Toon entertain and torture their fans, they play well then degenerate and leave gaping holes in their defence and commit last minute lunging tackles to save the day… it’s all in a day’s work but I can understand why life expectancy in the northeast of England is lower than most parts of the country…

So now to the ratings
Given 8 Again a picture of consistency, could’nt do much about the goals though
Carr 7 Got forward as usual
Ramage 7 Did his job, competent
Boumsong 6 Jittery
Taylor 8 Almost scored and performed a last minute tackle
N’Zogbia 8 Set up a goal, always a threat
Solano 7 Entertained and stuck it in, good to see you again
Emre 9 Brilliant free kick and assist
Parker 8 England would beckon I think
Ameobi 10 Make your critics eat humble pie, I admit I was wrong about you
Shearer 6 Did his best but really needs some rest
Faye 5 Crap
Chopra 5 Not enough time
Clark 6 A calming influence, better than Faye.

Bring on Grimsby for the League Cup!

Enough is enough. Owen felt something in his hamstring, Souness claims he feels suicidal about the Toon’s injury list. We are at home to the unwashed…. what can get worse?

So here’s to another weekend of action

Blackburn v Birmingham 1-0 I will plum for the Rovers
Arsenal v Man City 1-1 Could be tight
Aston Villa v Wigan 2-1 The Latics will finally be laced up
Fulham v Liverpool 1 - 2 Pool will have too much for the Cottagers
Man Utd v Tottenham 1-1 I will defy my rational self to go for at least a draw
Portsmouth v Charlton 1-2 Bent will keep scoring… so will Murphy
Newcastle v Sunderland 3 - 0 I will again defy my rational self to go for a Toon win
Bolton v West Brom 2 - 0 Trotters will still walk all over the Baggies
West Ham v Middlesbrough 1 - 0 Sheri and Co to have the last word
Everton v Chelsea 0 - 3 Enuff said

Not Again. Another hamstring injury scare. Just when is this state of affairs going to end? From the early days of the season, we have lost the following through injury inflicted by team-mates, the pitch, international and opposition players: Bramble, Chopra, Solano, Dyer, Emre, Bowyer and now Owen.
I don’t think Souness is able to field his first team any time soon and this would come too late to save his Scottish butt.

Before I go into my little tirade on the unmitigated disaster which happened at the JJB stadium on Saturday, let’s review the various results over the weekend and Monday.

Wigan 1 Toon 0 (Crap)

Chelsea 5 Bolton 1 Mourinho weaves his magic and 4 goals come in 15 minutes (1 point)

Liverpool 1 Blackburn 0 Got the Cisse bit right though

Sunderland 1 Manure 3 Shrek and Horseface get into the act (1 point)

Tottenham 2 Everton 0 The Toffees will go down, no doubt (3 points)

Boro 1 Portsmouth 1 The Yak strikes again

Birmingham 0 Aston Villa 1 O’Leary earns his bragging rights

Man City 2 West Ham 1 Cole stuffs Sheringham (3 points)

Charlton 1 Fulham 1 Danny Murphy knocking loudly on the England door

NUFC travelled to the JJB stadium to face the Latics for the first time since the 1950s when the two sides met for a FA cup match. The Latics have defied the critics by chalking up 13 points from the last possible 15. The Toon has also gone on a 4 match unbeaten run with 3 consecutive clean sheets. So it was with quiet optimism that I switched on the TV to watch the match at 740 pm.

But boy was it a damn waste of my time. The recall of Owen did not work wonders. The Wigan goalkeeper Filan has barely a save to make throughout the match. Shearer was wasteful with his freekicks and had a goal ruled out by the linesman. Although he pushed de Zeeuw when he rose to head the ball, no whistle was blown for infringement, so the goal had to be given. Television replays showed the ball crossed the line so that linesman must be damn myopic not to have seen it. That basically sums up NUFC’s outing at the JJB stadium, a day that nothing went right. Now I am going to rip into the players for another inept performance.

Given 8 Again he did very little wrong and appeared to have his angle covered but the ball still squirmed under him into goal.

Carr 6 Did some running but very little contribution of note.

Boumsong 5 An absolute disgrace to the word International. How on earth can he get into the French national team? It is one of the greatest puzzles, given his constant slipping and poor anticipation. Crap again.

Taylor 7 Another good performance from the lad.

Elliott 6 Still prone to errors. That is why he is not in the first team.

Bowyer 7 Lots of running but got crocked.

Parker 7 Still showed a good range of passing but his loss of possession led to the goal.

Faye 4 What on earth is this? Under international law, he would be charged for misrepresenting himself as a footballer.

N’Zogbia 6 Had a good shot but faded increasingly towards the end.

Shearer 6 Won all the long balls. But failed to connect with Owen.

Owen 6 Did everything right but score.

Substitutes:
Ameobi for Bowyer (37) I don’t understand why Souness did not send Emre on for Bowyer because this Nigerian loon is utter shite.

Emre for Faye (46) A good decision and he looked remotely like trying to salvage a lost cause. 7

Clark for Elliott (88) 4 Pointless.

On Wednesday night, England answered their critics and finally justified their hype by beating Poland 2-1 at OT. While it wasn’t really a vintage performance, at least there are signs that the team is finally getting their act together. What was even more pleasing was the fact that Owen, who became captain in place of the suspended Walking Advert opened the scoring before Lampard scored with a beauty to seal the victory.
What was even better was the U-21 team which thrashed their Polish counterparts 4-1 with Steven Taylor grabbing a brace. This lad is really showing his real potential and Souness would have to do his utmost to keep him. He will definitely achieve great things but hopefully with us.
I also managed to catch GOAL! yesterday night at 945 pm at Lido. I bet many are already familiar with the storyline. Illegal Mexican immigrant living in an impoverished part of LA, turning out for a local amateur side, gets talent scouted by former NUFC great, gets a trial at NUFC, meets a gal, fall in love, coping with paternal opposition and asthma, proving his worth in the Reserves and finally scoring the winning goal which secures the Toon Champions League qualification. It is in essence a rags to riches story and the role of Santiago Munez, the footballer in question is well acted, though he really resembles a better looking version of Laurent Robert.
Alone in Tyneside, Munez also bunks in with a prima donna Gavin Harris, who personifies really the kind of lifestyle many footballers have nowadays: flashy cars, beautiful women at their beck and call, pubbing and the like. And of course, NUFC is notorious for having people like these who drag their reputation and the club’s through the mud. It is also a cautionary tale on how having bountiful riches can corrupt a person and undermines one’s passion for the game. The game becomes money-driven and agents are portrayed as vultures circling around for carcasses. The action is intense and real and watching the show really takes one to the heart of the game. Looking at St. James’ Park in its full glory has hardened my resolve to see it one day. And really Newcastle must be grateful to the show for portraying it in such a positive light. What we often hear of the Northeast is derelict mines and shipyards from Victorian times but really you don’t see that in the show.

Enough of rattling, now back to the predictions for the weekend games.

Wigan v Newcastle 0-2 I will stick my neck out for a 4th consecutive clean sheet and Toon win.

Chelsea v Bolton 2-0 Blue juggernaut continues

Liverpool v Blackburn 1-1 Cisse continues to rant

Sunderland v Man Utd 0 - 2 Mackems will get zilch

Tottenham v Everton 2 - 0 Drive the nail into the Toffee coffin

West Brom v Arsenal 0-2 Baggies will be deflated

Middlesbrough v Portsmouth 2 - 1 Yakubu to slay his former club

Birmingham v Aston Villa 1-1 Midlands statelmate

Man City v West Ham 2 -1 Cole will score

Charlton v Fulham 2-0 Bent will bend it like Beckham

In Singapore, there is a phrase that is being used to describe individuals who talk a lot and do nothing, or NATO for short. Recently, the footballers from the English national team has given concrete proof that the NATO syndrome also afflicts footballers. Over the course of three qualifiers, the English team has not put in a single convincing display at all. Slim victories over Wales and Austria aren’t what the fans want. They want entertainment and conviction on the pitch, but some of the recent performances were really gutless and clueless. And of course, having bums like Shrek and Walking Advert getting sent off for a variety of reasons doesn’t help a wee bit. I think that cool Swede would not be as cool as a cucumber if his charges continue to make positive noises off the pitch but not on it. Shrek, Walking Advert and now Owen has come out to say that England can win the World Cup in 2006. God help these delusional souls. You win football matches by beating opponents, not killing them with empty talk and gallons of saliva. Talk is cheap. You have to translate this hot air into something more viable. Unless England puts in a display befitting that of champions, they can never win the World Cup for sure.

Today is 10 October. 94 years ago, a mutiny broke out in a garrison in Wuchang, a town on the Yangtze River. Pro-republican troops seized control and this Wuchang mutiny led to a wave of similar incidents throughout the country against the Qing autocratic regime which had ruled China for the last 267 years. By February 1912, the last emperor, Pu-yi abdicated and brought an end not only to the Qing dynasty but also 2100 years of monarchical rule in China since the time of Qin Shihuang, the First Emperor.
And of course, 10 October is also the national day of the Republic of China, or Taiwan the renegade province, as the Communist government calls it. The Taiwanese still date their calendar from the year the Republic was formed. So, today is effectively the 94th year of the Chinese republic.
Sorry for this gibberish, just can’t help but comment on a very poignant date in history.